Aristotle: "Happiness is a life lived according to virtue."
Happiness and meaning
According to one study:
Happy people satisfy their wants and needs, but that seems largely irrelevant to a meaningful life. Therefore, health, wealth, and ease in life were all related to happiness, but not meaning.
Happiness involves being focused on the present, whereas meaningfulness involves thinking more about the past, present, and future---and the relationship between them.In addition, happiness was seen as fleeting, while meaningfulness seemed to last longer.
Meaningfulness is derived from giving to other people; happiness comes from what they give to you. Although social connections were linked to both happiness and meaning, happiness was connected more to the benefits one receives from social relationships, especially friendships, while meaningfulness was related to what one gives to others---for example, taking care of children.
Meaningful lives involve stress and challenges. Higher levels of worry, stress, and anxiety were linked to higher meaningfulness but lower happiness, which suggests that engaging in challenging or difficult situations that are beyond oneself or one's pleasures promotes meaningfulness but not happiness.
Self-expression is important to meaning but not happiness. Doing things to express oneself and caring about personal and cultural identity were linked to a meaningful life but not a happy one. For example, considering oneself to be wise or creative was associated with meaning but not happiness.
"If we just look at helping others, the simple effect is that people who help others are happier," says Baumeister. But when you eliminate the effects of meaning on happiness and vice versa, he says, "then helping makes people less happy, so that all the effect of helping on happiness comes by way of increasing meaningfulness."
Lyubomirsky feels that researchers who try to separate meaning and happiness may be on the wrong track, because meaning and happiness are inseparably intertwined.
"When you feel happy, and you take out the meaning part of happiness, it's not really happiness," she says.
Yet this is basically how Baumeister and his colleagues defined happiness for the purpose of their study. So although the study referred to "happiness," says Lyubomirsky, perhaps it was actually looking at something more like "hedonic pleasure"---the part of happiness that involves feeling good without the part that involves deeper life satisfaction.
In fact, seeking happiness without meaning would probably be a stressful, aggravating, and annoying proposition, argues Baumeister.
Instead, when aspiring to a well-lived life, it might make more sense to look for things you find meaningful---deep relationships, altruism, and purposeful self-expression.
1. Too much happiness can make you less creative---and less safe.
Happiness may be best when experienced in moderation---not too little, but also not too much.
2. Happiness is not suited to every situation.
Happiness has a time and a place---it's not suited for every situation!
3. Not all types of happiness are good for you.
Certain kinds of happiness may at times hinder our ability to connect with those around us, such as pride.
4. Pursuing happiness may actually make you unhappy.
It is as if the harder one tries to experience happiness, the more difficult it is to actually feel happy, even in otherwise pleasant situations. It may be that striving for happiness is actually driving some of us crazy.
How to find healthy happiness?
One cannot experience happiness at the cost or expense of negative emotions. Emotional balance is crucial.
Too much focus on striving for happiness as an end in itself can actually be self-defeating. Rather than trying to zealously find happiness, we should work to build acceptance of our current emotional state, whatever it may be. True happiness, it seems, comes from fostering kindness toward others---and toward yourself.
In becoming happier, we not only boost experiences of joy, contentment, love, pride, and awe but also improve other aspects of our lives: our energy levels, our immune systems, our engagement with work and with other people, and our physical and mental health.
Happiness Practice #1: Three Good Things
Write three good things that happened during the day before going to sleep, with much detail.
Include how this event made you feel at the time and how this event made you feel later (including now, as you remember it).
Why?
We often overlook everyday beauty and goodness--a kind gesture from a stranger, say, or the warmth of our heater on a chilly morning. In the process, we frequently miss opportunities for happiness and connection.
By remembering and listing three positive things that have happened in your day--and considering what caused them--you tune into the sources of goodness in your life. It's a habit that can change the emotional tone of your life, replacing feelings of disappointment or entitlement with those of gratitude--which may be why this practice is associated with significant increases in happiness.
How?
Find ten minutes in the evening to write three good events of the day with these guidelines in mind:
Give the event a title (e.g., "co-worker complimented my work on a project")
Write down exactly what happened in as much detail as possible, including what you did or said and, if others were involved, what they did or said.
Include how this event made you feel at the time and how this event made you feel later (including now, as you remember it).
Explain what you think caused this event---why it came to pass.
Use whatever writing style you please, and do not worry about perfect grammar and spelling. Use as much detail as you'd like.
If you find yourself focusing on negative feelings, refocus your mind on the good event and the positive feelings that came with it. This can take effort but gets easier with practice and can make a real difference in how you feel.
By giving you the space to focus on the positive, this practice teaches you to notice, remember, and savor the better things in life. It may prompt you to pay closer attention to positive events down the road and engage in them more fully---both in the moment and later on, when you can reminisce and share these experiences with others. Reflecting on the cause of the event may help attune you to the deeper sources of goodness in your life, fostering a mindset of gratitude.
Prioritize everyday positive events rather than rare large ones and do not expect to be constantly happy.
Terms of Happiness
Affective forecasting: The process of making predictions about how you will feel in the future.
Impact bias: The tendency to overestimate how an event or experience in the future will affect our emotional well-being, for better or worse.
Set point theory: The theory that we each have a relatively stable level of happiness that is largely determined by our genes and personality.
Hedonic adaptation (aka the "hedonic treadmill"): Our ability to adapt to changes in our life circumstances or sensory experiences.
Prioritizing positivity: Deliberately organizing your day-to-day life so that it contains situations that naturally give rise to positive emotional experiences.
Money
Might boost happiness when it lifts people out of impoverished circumstances, but beyond that, its effects are limited.